How Journaling Helped me Conquer the Social Magic that is Self Regulation 311

I recently Guest Blogged on The National Association for Christian Journal Writers’ Webpage and Blog…You can find my Guest Blog on: http://www.nacjw.com/journaling-for-adhd/…

While you’re there…Explore helpful journaling tips and more by browsing their site to learn how Journaling can enhance your life and provide therapeutic effects for everyday living…

As a diagnosed adult, suffering from ADHD, I have oftentimes regrettably noticed that in almost every facet of my life, ranging from the professional arena and spanning to that of my interpersonal development and beyond; I am glaringly peculiar in personality, temperament and emotional intelligence, as compared, to the non-ADHD masses I am usually surrounded by.  Feeling different is one thing, although, believe me when I say, those oftentimes not-so-subtle social cues which make me aware of my abnormal nature are hard pills to swallow. However, knowing I frequently lose control of my frustrated, irritable and angry reactions is something that produces an even more severe and ever-lasting unease, bringing forth uncountable moments of heavy brooding in my daily life.

It’s those moments when I hear or sense someone insult me, alienate me and demean me, that leave me unable to bottle up the resentment, “breath,” and hold back from saying or doing something I will later regret. It’s the instances, where in, I impulsively react to someone’s critical tone of a situation I am in, and freak out, readily displaying a message to the world that I am a, “Drama Queen,” or an overly sensitive, insecure mess. In these moments, I can’t successfully pause and control my emotions. What’s more is that I always find myself uselessly apologizing for who I am; or worse yet, buying into others’ self-created judgements of my persona. Inevitably the after affects always lead to my personalization of a negative self-view. Accompanying this unfavorable self-impression, I arrive finally towards handling an issue completely out of sync with the normal reaction the setting warrants. All these scenarios, and the injurious cycles they create, cause a great deal of destructive self-hate, leaving me vulnerable and a victim to my rattling inner critic.

My point of view, however, began to change when I came upon a book on Emotional Intelligence (EQ 2.0,), and learned the reason behind my theatrical breakdowns, finding also, within it, a helpful guide which helped me, once and for all, bring an end to those dreadful circuits of freakishness. I happened to find this book, surprisingly enough, at the airport, boarding a plane home from a weekend-long bachelorette party; where in, I had been publicly punished, multiple times, undeservingly by the bride. This was all a result of my unsuccessful efforts to defend myself against the shaming treatment I had received from the other girls during the entirety of the vacation. Feeling low on myself to start, I began reading this fitting book, and suddenly a lightbulb went off…I realized I had to dive deep into the self-managing aspect of my character, and learn the essential art of constraint and composure, if I was ever going to succeed socially, professionally and psychologically in this, sometimes, dog-eat-dog world in which we all live.

It turns out, self-control, (in this particular book it was termed self-regulation), comes as a byproduct of self-knowledge. The more you know about your feelings, your triggers and what makes you tic, the better able you are to assess the situation, take a step back, do that famous “breathing” thing that mindfulness gurus keep raving about, and proactively respond to the situation, instead of brashly reacting to it. Moreover, it comes to bear that journaling my thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise in reaction to the world and its events, became a handy trick in aiding me to explore and understand myself in a deeper, more meaningful way than did that waisted, aimless and sorrowful self-reflection. Moreover, reviewing my journals began to allow me to view all the varying reactions I have to different external settings. This reviewing, then, further enabled me to relive, and reframe the mistakes I may have made, and/or the victories I achieved in the past, as a means to more properly understand which reactions to keep in my arsenal of responses, and which to work on and eventually kick to the curb.

Journaling is one, among many, therapeutic measures, designed for ADHD. These various approaches in treating ADHD, and other mental illnesses, are based on a broader concept, termed, Cognitive Theory, (or philosophies of psychology, dealing with one’s thoughts about oneself and the world),

Under the Cognitive Theory,

• “learning is constructive…not repetitive…,
• “self-awareness” and “self-regulation” are essential to learning and “cognitive growth,” and
• “the ability to think about one’s own thinking;” is necessary for guiding behavior.

Studies show that individuals with ADHD can benefit significantly from the development of these strategies. Journaling about oneself and reflecting on one’s thinking, therefore, enhances the way individuals learn about, and understand, their behaviors and the thought processes upon which they accompany. Hence, journaling can be used as a method and guide for self-control, an important attribute of adult behavior, which is oftentimes, less well-developed in individuals suffering from ADHD.

In a study that used “personal strengths” to develop “self-determination” and sounder “social-emotional levels” in postsecondary students with ADHD, it was found that successful students possess the ability to “understand their strengths and weaknesses (also termed self-determination).” Activities that contribute to developing these skills help both adolescent and adult sufferers of ADHD succeed in school and beyond. Journaling is one such activity, especially in so far as it enables those with ADHD to better understand themselves.

Furthermore, it is important for therapeutic interventions to target cognitive areas in which individuals with ADHD are typically deficient. These include, but are not limited to, an individual’s capacity for:

• organization
• self-regulation
• overcoming procrastination

Through participating in positive, hope-inspired journaling, as I have done with much success, many out there, diagnosed with ADHD; like me, can further develop important skills, upon which we can begin to cultivate a healthier social, professional and personal self.